The second chance: your own cheating

Relationship Advice

Is cheating the end of relationship? It’s a difficult question. And do you know what is even more difficult? To accept your own cheating. This article is dedicated to it. 

Maybe it sounds absurd but in others we hate what we have in ourselves. You could suspect your boyfriend in cheating but now you did it by yourself. How to live through a fact that is difficult to accept? Keep calm and here is a detailed manual that will help you: 

Accept responsibility

Accept responsibility

There are many excuses but you should accept responsibility! Alcohol, smile of your lover, your husband who pays less attention at you are not guilty in what happened. It was you who did it. Of course it’s easier to find someone guilty and put responsibility on him. But that’s how we make victims from ourselves: “They hurt me!”. And start feeling better or more self-confident, and it leads to nowhere. More exactly it leads to a world of guilt, weakness and humiliation. And it won’t help you to recover from cheating. So the first step is to accept the responsibility for this deed.  

Get rid of sense of guilt

Accept responsibility

All right you accepted the responsibility. And them it’s like a computer game you’ll have levels of complexity. Next obstacle is a sense of guilt and it can appear for anybody: for your man, for yourself and for your lover – there are many variants. It’s necessary to handle this feeling otherwise it will eat you within. And in the end it will rule your behaviour. 

It’s not easy to get rid of this feeling, but it’s possible. Here is one of variants: concentrate and tell yourself that you could do it. You had your reasons. Just let yourself do it. Tell yourself it as many times as possible until you feel easiness. If you succeeded, it’s good. 

Find out the reasons

Find out the reasons

Well, you accepted responsibility and got rid of guilt – good job! But you still understand that something terrible happened and you must find the cause of it. 

There are many reasons of female cheating. It’s easy to find a comfortable one like: “I don’t like sex with him”, and it’s much more difficult to find the deep reason like: “He hurt me and I want revenge”. And sometimes it happens that a woman wants to hurt herself: “I am bad and cheating and torture because of it is some kind of punishment for me”. 

Seems like something stupid? But no this is our subconsciousness – really complicated and sometimes illogic. And sometimes it’s hard to understand it. That’s sexologists exist. It’s important to understand the reason: maybe you are not satisfied with yourself, or partner or your sexual life. Even if it was casual remember the first point: you cheated because you wanted it. So it means you had a reason. Sometimes it can be prevented if you know what is wrong. Because usually reasons of cheating are hidden conflicts in relations or conflicts based on sex. 

Women’s infidelity is considered to be a deliberate deed that has a serious psychological basis. Every woman needs vivid emotions! And if they are expressed by the person whom they love it guarantees success of this relationship. 

If a woman doesn’t get necessary emotions, has doubts and doesn’t feel happy in relations, she will try to compensate this by attention of other men and in the worst case she will decide to cheat. No wonder people say that women betray by their souls not only by hearts.